I woke up in the wee hours of the morning today with a slight tickle in my throat. When I went to the restroom, there was plenty of creamy cm to be had. There was a time when these little symptoms would have brought a happy smile to my face, a positive thought to my mind, and a skip to my step. If you know not what I am talking about, then you are long over due for a visit to any forum for fertiles in the two week wait. As anyone who has been there any amount of weeks can tell you, these are sure signs of pregnancy...for them.
Today these symptoms did bring a smile to my face, a wry smile. They also brought a thought to my mind, a sarcastic thought. And my step, well it was less of a skip and more of a stomp. Why does my body bother sending out these symptoms when we both (my body and my mind) know that it's all for naught. Why have I ever had these symptoms? And how could I have been so stupid as to once believe that these might actually signal my pregnancy?
A part of me wishes I was still that stupid. I miss feeling happy and optimistic. I miss the excitement and anticipation of the possibility. I miss not knowing any better. But I do. Damn me and my insatiable need to Google!
5 comments:
Great post! Very well written!
Yup.
Though it's tiring wishing for the ignorance back.
Ah the excited, anticipatory naiveté was grand.
It's funny how we used to be so full of hope and get excited at the signs of fertility and possible signs of pregnancy. It's sad how that excitement and hope fades gradually over time. It's annoying to see others in that stage of excitement and hope when we know better.
How have you been doing hon? Just in case you needed a good reason to post, I tagged you. You can see the details in my blog if you're interested.
((hugs))
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