Feeling Barren

I have, for the past several weeks, had a growing feeling that I will never conceive. I voiced it today for the first time. My dear friend, P, told me not to think like that, after all I haven't even been tested. She pointed out it could be something as simple as a blocked tube.

My mind started whirling, and I came to the depressing conclusion that it doesn't matter if it's even something as simple as just needing clomid because I'm never going to get it anyway. DF still hasn't done the 2nd SA. For god's sake it's coming in a cup!

DF noticed my sadness and asked what was wrong. I told him he didn't want to know, as has been my experience with such conversations between us. He insisted that he did want to know. When I told him, he immediately changed the topic. Yeah, he wanted to know, he just didn't want to deal with it....

Update: He just noticed me typing furiously, so he has promised to go get his SA tomorrow. We'll see if it actually happens. I have been disappointed by his promises too often to just blindly believe what he says. Sad, but true.

If he does do this SA, it will be yet another struggle to get the third one done.

Update: He can't get his SA tomorrow. He hasn't come in like a month. Yeah, that's how pathetic our love life is. So, as of now, the schedule is for him to come tomorrow and go in for his SA on Monday. Yeah, it's not going to happen. Frick! Frick! Frick!!!!