Foster/Adoption Orientation Meeting

Just got home from the information meeting. It's a long process, but I am very excited to get started on it!

This post is going to include more information than most of you will probably want to know, so this is your warning. :)

Apparently in Los Angeles County there are two agencies that you must deal with when fostering. You must go through the requirements for L.A. DCFS, and you have to get certified by the state. The first presenter today was a social worker from DCFS, and he was wonderful. The second presenter was from the state and she confused the bejeezus out of me! I'm going to need to call the state office and talk to a different social worker to have them clarify everything for me.

From what I understand, the next step is to send an application to the state office. You then get a case number that you use to get your fingerprints and the criminal background check. Along with that, you need to submit a bunch of other forms and paperwork.

The county also requires 33 hours of PS-MAAP training classes over a 6 week period of time. These will not begin until February! WTF?! Don't they know some of us have already been waiting too long to get a child into our lives?! Anyway, the classes are taught at Community Colleges by social workers. As we saw today, some social workers are better than others, so we plan on going to several different classes to check out the social workers because they will be the ones doing our homestudy. We hope to get someone who is intelligent and with whom we feel we can build a good rapport.

The first social worker said that currently there are about 500 kids in L.A. county waiting to be adopted, so hopefully we won't have to wait too long after we finish the process in April. There are many things we must do to complete this, but I am very happy to have a plan and to have completed the first step...the orientation!

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FARTS!

After reading a fellow blogger's post about farts, I decided to take on her challenge write my own post about farts. Of course as soon as I finished reading her post I had to go poop, but I digress; the topic is farts.

Oh, this is a favorite in my sixth grade classroom. Every year, I have one student who will let one rip in my classroom, and as they are mercilessly being teased by the rest of the class, I must go into the lecture of how everyone farts. My classroom full of 11 year olds sits there in astonishment that this is actually being discussed at school. Until, inevitably, one of them asks, "Do you fart?" To which I answer, "Yes!" Laughter ensues, with a challenge from one of them for me to fart right then and there. I am not an on-command farter, so I unfortunately cannot oblige. Some of them being more talented in this area than I am, feel the need to immediately...and for the rest of the day, show off their talent. Oh, the stench!

Closer to home, we definitely have a farting household. DF started it, by letting some foul creatures out of his a$$! However, when he started it, he was quite unaware that just one milkshake (or any dairy product for that matter) later, I would be giving him a run for his money...or at least making him run out of the room. After I let an especially nice one out, he always asks me, "How can something so cute and small be so stinky?" Oh yeah! I usually giggle proudly just to let him know, I am no one's flatulence push over!

Let's see if we can take on the challenge and continue our fart posts all throughout blogland.

Why God?

Just read a blog that was asking the same question that has been on my mind. Why! Why is it so easy for others and so hard for me? Why do people who don't want them, get to have kids? Why do young children end up having babies? Why don't I have a baby in my arms? Why??? Why??? Why???

Is it some karmic thing? Did I do something really awful in a past life that I now have to pay for in this way? Was I a horrible parent? Was I an ungrateful fertile? Was I some type of monster?

Or maybe God just hates me! I've stayed away from that question. Somehow, I have managed to tell myself over and over that everything in this life is happening exactly as it must for me. But, COME ON ALREADY! Enough is enough! I'm seriously wondering, not so much whether God hates me, but more like maybe God just doesn't love me. Maybe, God can't be bothered with my problems. Maybe God just doesn't care enough about me to actually help me with what I want most in life. Maybe, things aren't happening exactly as they are supposed to for me, but more like just happening because God could care less. If this is some type of test to prove my faith, I failed miserably. If this is one of those things where God won't give us more than we can handle, then it needs to stop now because I can't handle much more. I'm getting to the breaking point.

What does it mean to break? And God, why are you pushing me there?

Loss of TTC innocence

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning today with a slight tickle in my throat. When I went to the restroom, there was plenty of creamy cm to be had. There was a time when these little symptoms would have brought a happy smile to my face, a positive thought to my mind, and a skip to my step. If you know not what I am talking about, then you are long over due for a visit to any forum for fertiles in the two week wait. As anyone who has been there any amount of weeks can tell you, these are sure signs of pregnancy...for them.

Today these symptoms did bring a smile to my face, a wry smile. They also brought a thought to my mind, a sarcastic thought. And my step, well it was less of a skip and more of a stomp. Why does my body bother sending out these symptoms when we both (my body and my mind) know that it's all for naught. Why have I ever had these symptoms? And how could I have been so stupid as to once believe that these might actually signal my pregnancy?

A part of me wishes I was still that stupid. I miss feeling happy and optimistic. I miss the excitement and anticipation of the possibility. I miss not knowing any better. But I do. Damn me and my insatiable need to Google!

Teenage pregnancy

This issue has been on my mind today. I don't know what brought it into my head, possibly the incessant headlines about Jamie Lynn Spears. I was thinking how sad it is that she is not going to be giving her baby up for adoption. It would be the only way that child could possibly live a normal, happy life. In fact it's a shame that more pregnant teens don't choose adoption.

I know the choice is theirs, and I know that they have several choices, including abortion, adoption, raising their baby themselves, or giving it to mom to raise, but why would they choose to raise the child themselves...and in JLS's case why give it to mom to raise when she has already shown that she will do a crappy job of it!? What are these teens thinking? They must just be thinking about the cute factor without really giving thought to financial factors and all around stability. This is so unfair to the babies.

I decided to search the web to see whether teens are even being encouraged to choose adoption. I did find a few sites, but I believe that the young people who would go to those sites are those who have already chosen adoption. In other words they are preaching to the choir. One question that did catch my attention while surfing those sites, however, was the question about race.

Apparently, Black couples are less likely to want to adopt and Hispanic couples even less so. This brought two questions to mind. Are white couples open to interracial adoption? I've seen a lot of posts by white women stating that they would prefer to adopt from Eastern Europe because they would prefer a white baby. Where does this leave the non-white pregnant teens? And it seems the reverse is true as well. Black and Hispanic couples are likely to have a shorter wait because the mothers of a similar race will choose them first. So, who ends up losing? To me, it seems as if everyone does. The couples wanting to adopt have long waits, the pregnant teens have fewer couples to choose from, and worst, the babies are being placed due to race not other possibly more pertinent issues.

This brings me back to my original question. Why aren't more teens choosing adoption? Could it be that these racial issues within the adoption process are discouraging teens from choosing adoption? Could it be that they are afraid that their baby will be unwanted?

That may be part of it, but I also know for a fact that another part of it is cultural. At least, it is in the Hispanic community. If a young girl becomes pregnant and begins to show, she is expected to raise her baby, even if she needs her parents help. These young girls will live at home and the entire family, especially her mom will pitch in to help raise the baby. Adoption is definitely frowned on in the Latino community. I read a blog today by a teen who proposed that adoptive parents adopt the teen while she is pregnant. As silly and logistically impossible as that might be, it does seem that it would take something at least that drastic to help a pregnant Latina teen deal with pressures she will feel from her community. In reality, it is the whole perception of adoption within the culture that needs to be changed. How do we go about doing that. Seems like an impossible task.

WTF with the universe?

Today, was a gorgeous Southern California day. Sunny and warm, yet by the water there was just enough crispness in the air to make you feel fully alive. DF wanted to give me a beautiful day out, so we went to Lake Shrine. It's even more beautiful in person.

As we started on the trail around the lake what did I see, but a mother with her newborn, and a little two year old wearing a "Big Sis" t-shirt as she giggled with daddy. I warned DF that he had better stay between me and the mother otherwise I might snatch the baby from her and take off! Using his good judgment he stayed between me and her as we passed the family. Of course they were right behind us on the trail, and I couldn't help the tears from flowing. Finally, we sat down and let them pass. I waited a long time to give them time to get far ahead of us on the trail, or so I thought. They kept hanging around us. It was as if the universe were mocking me. At the end of the trail, DF had to go to the restroom. I waited on a bench outside. Who do you think came by not five seconds after I sat down? Ugh!

After that horrific experience, we decided to go to this restaurant on the beach for lunch. We pulled up to the valet and I looked to the side of our car, and who is there in the next valet line? Yup! That same family. I just shook my head and started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. We quickly got out of the car and went into the restaurant. We were seated, and I was just grateful for the beauty that I saw as I looked to my right...until I looked to my left. Yeah, that same family was seated right next to us! I swear the rest of the restaurant was all adults. However, this family was meeting two other families with small children and of course they were seated next to us! Everywhere else it was adult land, but we were stuck in Romper Room! I only wish I had made my Bloody Mary a double!

Hey Universe, you owe me a beautiful, fertile-free day!