Update on me

I still have no idea what is wrong with me. I went to the Dr. and all tests came back normal except, I was found to have a vitamin D deficiency. Yes, vitamin D deficiency can lead to infertility. Who knew?! My thyroid continues to grow and a nodule was found on it during the ultrasound. Unfortunately, I continue to play phone tag with the radiology department to schedule a biopsy. For whatever reason, they don't believe me that it is okay to call DF and have him schedule an appointment for me. Instead they insist on calling me during work hours when I am unable to answer the phone.

As for adoption, I still have to fill out the paperwork for DF. I am trying to word things for him in such a way that will make it all as positive as possible. I have recently read of some foster adopt cases that did not go well, but I learned my lesson with infertility. I am keeping all of those stories to myself, or qualifying them with a timeline during which our state laws have changed. He still seems like a go for the whole process, so that is a positive. We should be starting our PS MAPP classes at the end of the month. We got a call from one location to register, but we want to have several locations so that we can choose the social worker we get along with best.

Work is going well for me. I have received all my materials from Donors Choose, so my classroom is really awesome for this second semester. We are doing worm composting. The kids absolutely love feeding the worms and getting their hands dirty. We are also going to be doing aquaponics. That should be very interesting. I hope I can keep the fish and the plants alive. For Earth and Space science we received refracting telescopes, so the kids will be able to take a telescope home to look at the stars at night. I am trying to get a star theater that turns my classroom into a planetarium and some star maps as well. If my proposal doesn't get funded soon, I will either have to purchase the materials myself, or hope that the school still has funds available to purchase them for me.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty positive about my life right now. That is a good thing.

Hope is a Bitch!

I am over my whole hysteria wondering whether we will be good parents, for now. DF and I talked and he has made me feel much more secure with everything. So, on that front, things look good.

However, as we know, if it's not one thing it's another. On Monday, we took MIL to an appointment with her cardiologist and then to her post heart surgery rehab. Lots of sitting around, nothing too strenuous. However, by the end, I was sitting and getting dizzy. I was also really tired. I hadn't really done anything except sit and talk, so there was no reason for the fatigue. When we got back to the in-laws' I asked FIL to take my blood pressure. It was pretty low.

About 20 years ago, I had half of my thyroid removed due to a benign nodule that was growing on it. Lately, the other half has started to grow. DF noticed it quite a few months ago, but I dismissed it at the time. Now I'm thinking that may be the cause for all of this. I think I may be hypothyroid. I have an appointment with my Dr. later today.

I have been talking with friends about this and one of them who was hyperthyroid, got pg the first month she began ttc after her thyroid was controlled. I know that is her story, not mine, but DAMN! I just can't help hoping. I know that's not healthy for me. I know that there is a very good chance that I will never get pregnant. I know that the more I hope, the more disappointed I am likely to be, and yet.... Hope is a bitch!